February 2012
all day: tired
time to go to bed: not tired
Me when I go out: I should've stayed home
Me when I stay home: I should've gone out
Me when i'm around people: i want to be alone
Me when i'm alone: I want to be around people.
“And sometimes, we can fall in love with someone for all the wrong reasons, and...”
– (via wordsandlyrics)
operator: 911, please hold.
me: stop murdering me for a sec; we're on hold.
murderer: ok
Friend: how many legs do 8 roosters have?
Me: 16
Friend: how many eyes do 5 roosters have?
Me: 10
Friend: so how many teeth does a cat have?
Me: uh.... I don't know
Friend: I see you know alot of stuff about cocks but not when it comes to pussies.
Me: oh...
Friend:
Me:
Friend:
Me: OH I SEE WHAT YOU DID THERE